Motivation and determination

Ever since being a young girl, I have always been madly ambitious. People would ask me at a tender age, what did I want to be. Most young girls would say something innocent such as a 'ballerina', or ' dancer', maybe a 'singer'. I wanted to be a journalist. I loved writing at a young age, and expressing how I felt in my writing. Even at school, I enjoyed creative writing, it was an opportunity to drift into another world, to delve into something deeper, a way to express how I really felt.

Fast forward to year 2010, I graduated in January, (picture of me and one of my good friends Jackie). Years ago, I felt like I could be and could do anything I wanted to do. Since graduating, it has been incredibly tough to find that ideal job, know one said it would be easy but I did not expect this if Im going to be honest . Its funny how, when we were children we all wanted to be grown ups, now being a grown up completely sucks. I would exchange me being a grumpy money orientated diva to a five year old that has no care in the world and throwing my dummy out of the pram. Its funny how life changes. What I am trying to get at, is yes my motivation and determination has waned slightly due to the lack of jobs ad not alot of opportunities out there. It does make you wonder 'why the hell did I suffer for three years ' , would you call raving 24/7 in your first year of uni consistently, dozing off in lectures and handing in our assignments late suffering?m aybe not ! But sometimes I do ponder, was it all worth it ...........

In March, I was lucky to get a nine to five, yes the dreaded nine to five, yikes ! I had many mixed emotions at the time, apart of me was filled with happiness that I finally found financial security after all the rejection and apart of me felt saddness.Who in the right mind of frame went to university and paid money to be an ADMNINISTRATOR. Im sure I didn't. But however I felt grateful to have a job. As the months went by things got worse at work, I started to feel resentment, I went to university, the majority of them that worked in the office did not . They had either been middle aged and worked there for 25 years or lacked AMBITION. I was petrified I would end up like that ! I was angry to be there and incredibly moody .Some of my colleagues were the most lovelist people I have come across. Compliments such as 'Your very beautiful and glamorous' 'you should be on tv' 'where are you from'. It begin to sink in this is not where my adult life is going to begin or god forbid end. The hours and the pay was not worth it. Most importantly I started to lose HOPE, MOTIVATION AND DETERMINATION . July 2nd I a made a bold choice and quit my £17k a year job. Some may call me stupid and unwise, I call it wanting a better life. I am the first person to admit, I'm no Einstein but most importantly I am motivated and determinated more than ever. When you fall back down, get right back up again. Life can be tough, trust me I know. But with the help of the Lord, all things shall be well :) Stay motivated and determined